Posts tagged ‘life coaching’

June 3, 2011

The Last-Minute Rock Star

At the moment I’m preparing for a road trip that will take me from SC to PA to NY and back again in the space of two weeks.  In my mind, someone who is truly great at this sort of thing would have a comprehensive checklist prepared, have a detailed to-do written (at least mentally) and would have had all the items that aren’t necessary to everyday life packed and ready to go by now- the minivan clean and maintained and ready to roll, home tasks that need completion before leaving nearly up to date and be ready to simply, calmly and joyfully put the stuff in the van and leave when the time comes.  Oh, and they’d definitely have the conference talk they’re giving in less than 2 weeks at least in a completed rough draft state.

My experience of this process is rarely anything like this.  Usually I experience a combination of procrastination and panic, with an underlying and continuous monologue of reprimands and reminders of how insufficient I am and how I’m doing it all wrong and how much of a loser I must be for not just doing the freaking stuff that needs doing, that culminates in me yelling at everyone to “just get the *&%$#! out of my way so I can get this stuff done and get at least a few hours sleep!” at about 11pm the night before we are planning a 5am departure.  Not an ideal situation, in my personal opinion- especially when I do not function well on less than 8 or 9 hours of sleep.  Any wonder last year’s incarnation of this trip had us all craning our necks along the highway to find a Starbucks? (when, of course, a green smoothie would be MUCH more of a help!)

So in the midst of my procrastination and panic this week I decided to do a little self-coaching on this subject.  In the process I remembered that I am a last minute person.  I function well doing things last minute and I rarely fall short of my own expectations no matter how much I’ve delayed and put off.  I recognized that what I dislike most about my usual pattern is not my last-minute nature, but the lack of trust I hold that I CAN do what’s needed in the time I have (I’m amazingly efficient when I’m motivated- a great illustration that tasks take as much time as we allow them!) and my lack of calm and peace in the process.  I don’t like being unkind to my family.  And I’m downright afraid of how unkind I can be to myself.  My “deer in the headlights” feelings of panic and inability to act are mostly about how much I’ll berate myself as I’m losing much needed sleep and yelling and then trying to fuel myself on sugar and caffeine.

I’ve decided that this year, I’ll prepare for our road trip in the usual way- acting as I feel the motivation.  Except this time, I’m choosing to trust in the fact that I always get it done.  I’m going to trust that I can do this calmly and without yelling at anyone, or mentally abusing myself.  I am going to invest in my well-being by saying no to others’ requests of my time and attention when they don’t align with my goal of a peaceful and calm packing process and departure.  Many of my children’s requests WILL align with this goal- they’re as excited about this trip as I am, maybe even more!  Some of them might not.  But I can feel good saying “yes, but not right now” knowing that we all benefit from peace and calm and trust that everything works out.  Ultimately, I’m going to step up and be a last-minute road trip rock star- flipping the bird at the reptilian voice in my head that is not really me, but an amalgamation of cultural expectations and past criticism that I’ve allowed to remain.  I’ll be kind and loving and roll on the wave of adrenaline I get when the time comes.  I’ll enjoy it.  I’m actually pretty great at this last minute stuff.  Time to own it.  Time to rock my last-minute capabilities and evolve them to a more peaceful and loving place.

So anyway, take what you can from this story and apply it to your own life.  Where do you berate yourself for being who you are, and what is the real problem with the situation?  How might a different thought change what you do and how you do it?  How can you be the rock star of who you are and bring it?

I’m off to do what I’m inspired to do today- just like I was inspired to write this post.  Rock on and let your stars shine!

Lesley

February 4, 2011

Immersed in life…

I suppose one could say that I’ve been neglecting my blogging duties, however what has been happening here is life.  Nothing more, nothing less. My word of the year is immerse, and as much as I enjoy spending hours writing, editing and posting (and writing, and writing, and writing some more) for the past few weeks I’ve been immersed in living.  Big, beautiful, satisfying, delicious life.  I’ve been snuggling with my kids, helping them figure out games, reading to them, and having all kinds of interesting discussions.  I’ve been spending whatever time I can with my husband- between our jobs time together has been limited, and we’re connecting more knowing that once he is settled in his new job he will be less preoccupied with work while at home.  I’ve been working.  I’ve been gardening- enjoying the feeling of being rooted to the earth with open skies above me.  I’ve been cooking and experimenting with my own recipes for vegetables and daydreaming about how I’ll use the ones from my gardens this summer.  And I’ve been coaching, being endlessly inspired by the amazing people my clients and friends are- and in awe of how universal our struggles are and how perfectly the work we’re all doing meshes together to create this tapestry that is living and being human. 

Life is full, and I’m soaking it in.  Today, as it’s very chilly and wet, I’ll build a fire that my family can gather around.   We’ll have pizza and smores- or roast hot dogs over the fire.  My girls will jump on the mini-trampoline I brought down from the attic this morning.  We’ll read some stories, watch something on the tv (who knows? something from the dvr, or a movie, or someone will play a Lego game or Ocarina of Time).  I’ll snuggle up with my nearly 11yo and we’ll hang out and talk and perhaps we’ll be spurred on to new adventures- as the old new adventures seem to have lost their appeal.  Perhaps we’ll study Japanese together and laugh at our attempts to speak it correctly.  Or string together nonsense sentences of words we learn because they’re fun to put together.

In other words, we’ll be living. 

Enjoy your weekend, everyone.  I know I will.

Lesley

December 31, 2010

Happy New Year… some changes and a freebie

Last day of the year.  I’d love to write something deep and profound today (or okay, how about thoughtful and uplifting? That may be more within my range) but I’m not exactly feeling it.  I have some wonderful plans I’m eager to get on with- but I do have promises I’d like to fulfill first.

 So, I assume you’ve noticed the new look.  Maybe you’ve noticed the new tagline.  Maybe you’ve even noticed my slight change of focus and the new page tab up above.

 I began this blog intending my writing to be attachment parenting based ideas for mothers (and dads) to explore their lives as whole beings- while still being a parent.  I think what I’m writing now still applies in that context, but to be honest, I was feeling that twisting everything into being about life with children wasn’t authentic to me.  I am a mom and that is a part of me that will continue to be represented, however the ideas that are coming through my pen lately aren’t specific to parents.  They’re applicable to anyone.

 So, from here on out I’m writing what I am inspired to write.  It may be parenting related, it may be about living in freedom, and it will surely be about freeing ourselves from assumptions, thoughts and beliefs that aren’t serving us.  It will be about living joyfully and accepting ourselves completely, whoever we are and whatever roles we fill.  And it may be about integrating those roles in our lives.  I may also discover more things I’m compelled to write about.  I’ll write what I need to write, because I know that desire is there for a reason beyond myself.  I’ll write more about the new tagline after the new year. 

 What I’m also launching today is my life coaching practice.  I’ve been training with Martha Beck and her wonderful, amazing, master certified coaches since September.  It’s been a truly wonderful experience and I absolutely love everything I’m learning and doing with the program.  But it’s time for me to step out and make use of all that I’ve learned, practiced, will continue to learn.  Thankfully it comes to me more easily and joyfully than just about anything I’ve ever experienced (hmmm…I think I can compare it to reading- which I find absolutely effortless and joyful!).  You’ll notice there’s a “life coaching” tab at the top of the page.  There is where you’ll find some more of my thoughts about coaching and find out how you can work with me for 8 sessions with no cost.  A freebie.  A really cool one, if I say so myself.  And I great way to start the new year, with support for living the life of your dreams. 

 Now I’ve got my favorite man asking me out to lunch and to go shopping- so I’ll leave you with wishes for a very happy and fulfilling new year.  I look forward to serving you,

 Lesley

 ps.  today’s photo is the vision board I created at the start of my training when it was suggested as a way of defining what we wanted to create in our lives and coaching practices – I love seeing it everyday as a reminder of where I am going

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